MOMENTUM

Wade and I are teaching at a marriage enrichment dinner this Saturday evening. I have been preparing our "script". And from the words I've been writing - I can also learn some life lessons - apart from enriching my marriage, although my marriage is pretty darned rich!!! 

We need to have DEFINING moments in our lives to sustain us through good times and bad times. Many things can rob us of recognizing those defining moments - busyness, stress, worry.....

According to the literature, as our lives grow faster and faster, our moments seem to grow shorter and shorter. And as our lives become packed with activities and events, we seem to have no time to experience moments in meaningful ways.  

The word 'MOMENT' comes from the latin word MOVIMENTUM which means 'to turn the scales'. In other words, a moment makes a difference (or SHOULD). It should move us............

But we can race through our days and never realize how many opportunities for "MOMENTS" that we have missed. 

I had a wonderful MOMENT this Monday morning. I do the same thing almost every Monday morning -  but this week, it really refreshed me. It all begins on Sunday evening following dinner. The meal this Sunday was for 7 people. We ate on my mother's china plates and feasted on macaroni and cheese with veggies, and fish fillet or chicken patty sandwiches. Lots of good food and lots of dirty dishes. But my ONE rule on Sunday is that I DO NOT wash dishes that night. Everything gets stacked and placed on the counter next to the sink. And trust me, there are one or two "Monica's" that were going crazy........ 

On Monday, I like to get up and, in solitude and quietness, I fill the dish pan with nice hot, soapy water and work through the dishes. I have my own organizational system to guide me. First silverware - dry them and put them away. Glasses, then plates, then onto serving bowls and finally, last of all, is the pots and pans. Everything gets dried and put away. I love how drastic the change is from something piled high with dirty dishes to an empty, clean counter. I like to stand at the sink and look out the window into the backyard and just enjoy the scenery while I am washing. And I discovered this past Monday that my thoughts went back to Sunday's church service and I was humming some of the songs that we had sung. This was such a calming, refreshing time for me. I had created a moment and when I think about it - I feel good for the enjoyment that I felt. How strange it seems to enjoy doing dishes so much..... 

Most times these days I've surrounded by chaos, noise, barking dogs, saws and hammers, questions, decisions, and people. I need to look for those defining moments more often so that I can live "in the moment". Not wish away the time until it turns into an "I should have......." moment.

Construction is moving along and the plumbing is almost completed. Marty and Tom will be putting up walls soon. Dixie is anxious to get into her place and keeps suggesting we can start putting away her things in there. The day the cabinets are installed on the walls I may have to tie her down - she wants to get in there and get things organized. 

 The pipe sticking out of the floor will be the drain for the shower. The toilet will be placed back near where the broom is. To the left of the toilet is the drain for the vanity sink. 

 This is the washer/dryer hookup that will be in the bathroom area. Can't tell now, but there will be lots of shelve space plus a counter to fold clothes too. 

 Hard to tell from this picture, but it's gonna be a BIG bathroom area. 

The sub-floor is all installed. Next the walls will start going up. That door is the main entrace and will be enclosed in its own little hallway/entryway. Both 'residences' will have matching doors for entry. Where the shower is temporarily placed there will be the Mud Room. At the end of the sub floor will be floor to ceiling wall to create the living room/bedroom area. 

ALMOST ALL DONE IN......

To say the phrase, "I'm all done in" means that I've given up, I can't do any more, my last nerve is gone, my last ounce of energy is expended." But I'm not quite there, I'm ALMOST done in. 

As I sit here this afternoon I am trying to rest before I go teach 3rd and 4th graders for almost 3 hours tonight. I need a fresh burst of energy to carry me through but I'm not feeling a whole lot of bursting going on.  

This morning was tiring in another way. I drove Dixie for her hair appointment, sat and waited. (And Cindy is doing a wonderful job with her hair - it's looking really great) Drove to lunch and ate a bowl of minestrone at Olive Garden and then kept myself occupied at WalMart while Dixie did some shopping. I let her go off on her own to shop to her heart's content. We met up in the cereal aisle and she said she didn't see me in the liquor aisle..... so I told her I was wearing my invisibility cloak while I shopped there......

So what's so tiring for me ............  listening to the same stories at least daily or every other day with a modicum of surprise (as it I had not heard them yet). Or if I ask a question about something - I might get an answer that is to a totally different question that I DIDN'T ask. 

She is getting older, more frail, more fearful, more opinionated, and cynical too. Soon it will be time for her to get a doctor and she's got definite opionions about that..... for someone that claims to be "not prejudiced" she certainly has negative opinions about "certain people".  

And she now needs a small amount of watching. I don't think she will be up for driving herself when her car arrives here. Springfield is too busy for her to manage that. 

I can see that food storage and how long things can last in the fridge will be an issue pretty soon too. For now I just keep all the food in our fridge and monitor it myself. I try to keep a variety of foods here so that she can eat whatever she likes. It's harder with her here too because Wade and I so often will just eat a sandwich for dinner. And there are rarely "sit-down" meals during the week.

I am sad at things that I have given up - some temporarily and some permanently to adjust to this new life that we are learning to live. Wade is concerned about my moods, but I just can't talk about what I'm feeling so he teases me that I'm planning on running away with Raul, the pool boy. He is under stress too - he's got big things going on at work and then he deals with Dixie at home. She's got her own agenda of things to discuss with him in the evenings too. So I try to just manage here on my own. Wade has said and I agree - that things will be different when she's living in her own space - but it's gonna be a while and I'm just having a rough, rough time. 

So I'm almost done in..... We've got construction going on and I need to be up and available for that. I've got to be available for Dixie and her needs, appointments, etc. Tomorrow we have an insurance agent coming to speak about medicare and doctors and coverage, etc. Plus I have AT&T coming to hopefully install a real, working phone so that I can receive and make calls that don't fade or disconnect. I think I'll miss my Bible study in the morning and Sonshine Club in the afternoon because of all that's going on tomorrow. 

I may just need to go buy me some calgon. Oh, wait.... I don't have a bathtub available for me. :o)  

Frame work for the subflooring

Going into the kitchen area - most of this will be the bathroom area which will have shower, toilet, vanity, and washer/dryer.

This was the garage door and will be a wall on the inside. The open door will be replaced with an outdoor door that will be the joint entryway. 

This is the door going from our home into Dixie's home. It will be lockable, but we can get in just in case there is an emergency. Looks so pretty and much better than the plastic sheeting. 

SOMETIMES I JUST SMILE................

id·i·o·syn·cra·sy

   [id-ee-uh-sing-kruh-see, -sin-] Show IPA

noun, plural id·i·o·syn·cra·sies.

1.

a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual.

 

Well, things seem to be going along pretty well. Day by day, we manage the best we can. But sometimes I just need to look off far away and smile.........

Yesterday was Dixie's hair appointment - so before that, we had lunch and stopped at Wal-Mart........

Dixie: I need to get some lotion, some razors, and some Selsun Blue.

Me: (at the store): Okay, there's the razors and a couple of rows over is the shampoo aisle.....

Dixie: Oh, I don't need shampoo - remember?? I'm going to the beauty shop to get my hair washed today.

Me: Yeah, but you said you wanted some Selsun Blue, right?

Dixie: Yes, but I use it to rub on my neck to remove skin tags.

Me (thinking in my head "Oh, then we need to find the "shampoo-not-meant-for-shampoo Aisle")  (** smile **) 

There was also a debate about lunch too - but I am chalking it up to misunderstanding. Her FAVORITE place is Golden Corral - there she can eat whatever she wants, how ever much she wants and it's inexpensive. Normally it would be my last choice for lunch. I suggested we go to Olive Garden instead but in the morning we agreed on Golden Corral. So I pull into the Golden Corral parking lot and she looks at me funny and said this isn't Olive Garden............. Oh well, we ate at Golden Corral and I promised her next week it would be Olive Garden. She is getting her hair done each week on Wednesdays so I'm guessing we'll be doing lunch each Wednesday somewhere. 

Speaking of hair, the stylist was wonderful. Her color came out very pretty and she had her hair styled very nicely. She didn't say much about it, so I can't be sure how she feels about it, but I thought it turned out nice. The stylist tried some things that were different to Dixie and I don't know if she liked them or not. For one, instead of curlers and hair dryer - the stylist blew the hair dry and then curled it with a curling iron. The end result is still the same but that was not how she had it done when she lived in Idaho. Plus...... she would just die (I'm sure) if she knew how much it really cost - but we're all working hard to keep the secret. 

Another one of those things that make me smile....... She is deeply upset that Wade doesn't eat his vegetables or that he doesn't care for turkey, certain seafoods, etc..... ---------- seriously?? According to her, he always ate everything that was put in front of him and always ate vegetables. My first interpretation of what she is saying is "How dare I allow Wade to slip away from his upbringing and not feed him more vegetables?????" Really??? He has done pretty good during the past 38+ years on the vegetables that he has eaten, so ....... yeah...... (( ** smile **)). Some things are just better not challenged or debated. Just smile............. and keep on smiling...............

Work on the rooms has started. Marty (from church) has his own home renovation-type business and he started this Monday. I will post pictures with my next post and talk about how the progression is going. 

............... (( smile............... sigh........ smile ))..........

IN ANTICIPATION OF THAT SOMEDAY PEACE..........

 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." 

John 16:32-33

I had one of those days for about a week now. One little minor irritation after another - 

Yesterday, I needed to go to the post office to mail two packages - the parking lot and street were full..... drove around a couple of blocks and they were STILL full - went and did another errand, came back, still full. I finally gave up and drove about 7 miles to the next post office. All I can think is that God wanted me to be at that other post office for some reason that I can't figure out and I'll probably never discover. 

Went and had my eyebrows waxed - same place I normally go, but this time they either burned the skin or pulled some delicate skin off because the next day my lids were swollen and I have sores there. What is up with that?!?!?

Our home phones are not working right and I believe it is because our internet service needs to be beefed up. We all need to use the phones for a variety of reasons - Hopefully Wade can hook us all up Thursday night although I wish it could be sooner. 

Our financial situation is still up in the air with how we're going to pay for the remodeling - and we had another contractor come out to give us an estimate. We haven't gotten the "bad news" yet, but Wade is not too optimistic. We're also waiting to hear from Wells Fargo about the loan (yes again). 

I worry that I might say something that would upset Dixie - I don't want her to feel that she is a bother or nuisance. Just a slight slip of the tongue would be disastrous I don't ever want her to feel that we think of her like that. I know that my life now is different - WAY different, but her life is different now too. She gave up a lot to move here and we gave up a lot to have her here. But I'm going to rest in my faith in God that he will work things out for all of us eventually.

I need a nap - I need some quiet time. I'm am not a real social person and am used to doing things alone sometimes. I need to adjust and it's uncomfortable. I seem to be retreating more and more frequently into the bedroom to get my quiet time, my computer time, my tv-watching time. And I love to take long showers in the afternoon too. 

I worked out a system with a friend from church that I don't want Dixie to ever know. In the town where she came from, she would go to the beauty shop and get her hair washed and set and once a month some color put in. There in Idaho it cost her 7 dollars for the wash & set and 13 dollars for the color. There is NO WHERE in Ohio that does that!!! So I am going to set up a gift card with the stylist to deduct the cost of the services and then Dixie can pay her the 7 dollars or 13 dollars which will be the tip for the lady. She will be happy and think that Ohio is a "Bargain State" and she'll never know the difference. She was so excited when I told her I found someone that would do her hair. We start this 'ritual' next week - every Wednesday will be her Hair Salon Day. 

Today I took her to Hobby Lobby and she looked around and bought a little something. Then we went to Golden Corral and she paid for the two of us. You should have seen her eyes light up this morning when I suggested Golden Corral for lunch today. She could eat all she wanted and for a small price. After that we went to the Dollar Store to shop for more goodies. 

This afternoon I retired to my room - practiced my saxophone, did some sudokus on the computer, prepared my Bible lesson for tonight, and took a small 15 minute nap. It's 4:30 and shower time is coming up!!! Dixie is watching tv in the living room and I'm assuming that she is napping a little bit too. 

Yes, there were some minor difficulties this week - some stresses and some inconvenience, but they will all wash away eventually and I hope that what we're doing will count for something. But overall, my peace is in Jesus. I need to just rest in that - all day long throughout all circumstances. 

SUNDAY NIGHT REFLECTIONS

This has been such a whirlwind week. Beginning last Friday when Dixie arrived - she came with Willie, Carol, and Shelly - a car and a U-Haul truck full of boxes and furniture. That night we put Willie & Carol in the bedroom - Shelly on a air mattress in the hallway and Dixie on the click-clack in the living room. 
Beginning Saturday morning there was activity and moving and planning and shoving and rolled eyeballs and harmonious discord (can there be such a thing??). 

Here is the garage with things that will need to be in storage until later. We were able to move in Dixie's bed, dresser, television, and recliner into the bedroom - however........ she let Willie & Carol sleep in there for this week and she slept in the living room. 
Not a popular choice with Wade though, who likes to wake up early, fix a nice chocolatey cup of coffee and watch TV in silence......... Ah well, that will change soon. 
Construction got off to a slow start because certain Brower males and females could not agree what should be done - and in a way I felt that they were not supporting what Wade wanted - of course, they had their own agenda. Sometimes people can be so "nit-picky". 

That, I think is the hardest thing - to be disagreeable as well as civil. Tough job and some of us didn't handle it as well as others. I have managed to get some really wicked, awful stomach aches and fully expected to work myself into an ulcer. I need to be the most vocal during political arguments/discussions. Such a pointless waste of time and so frustrating when I am stuck in a room listening to it. I promised myself next time to walk out and leave no matter who is in the room. 

So money was spent and building supplies were purchased. This is our first trip to the dump with carpet, drywall, and old building materials. We made a total of three dump trips. 

This is the wall between the garage and bedroom - but now that bedroom will be the new kitchen/dining/sitting area. 

This is inside the new kitchen area and looking out into the garage. These are new french doors with new drywall put up. 

Inside the new kitchen. In the center is the hallway that will eventually lead to the bathroom. Then on the right side is where the kitchen cabinets, sink, and refrigerator will go. This used to be where two closets were when it was a bedroom. 

This again is where the kitchen 'work' area will be. Sink, cabinets, microwave, refrigerator. 

This has been a tough week of adjustments so far. One day was spent sitting in the credit union opening accounts. The next day was sitting in the Social Security office to work out more finances. We still need to find a beautician, doctor, insurance, on and on................... 

Now Shelly will be flying home tomorrow - so that means Dixie will be moving into the bedroom and Wade can have his space for coffee and tv in the mornings. Eventually things will work - it just takes time. 

This morning the Bible verse that grabbed me by the throat was this: 

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Help me this week and beyond to keep doing good - to not give up. Help me, help me, help me.